National Young Adult Ministry - and great friendship

This weekend I traveled to the nation's capital city to attend a dear friend's wedding. This dear friend is someone I know only because of Young Adult Ministry and the Episcopal Church at large.

I met Uchenna at an ESMHE (Episcopal Society for Ministry in Higher Education) conference in the summer of 2000 in Denver, CO. We were both recent college graduates - her from Princeton, me from Morningside College. I attended on behalf of the University of Minnesota, as it was my touchstone campus ministry throughout 4 years of college out of state in the Midwest. (On a side note, that particular conference featured the Rev. Bill Countryman as the main speaker, and took place just before the General Convention that elected the first young adult to the national Executive Council - Sara Hart.)

The following December Uchenna and I were roommates at yet another National Gathering of college students (NAT GAT) and became reacquainted, in fact, truly began a great friendship that has meant a lot to both of us the last 7 years. We discovered that despite obvious differences in our geographic and cultural upbringing - she a Nigerian/American woman raised in Miami & Philadelphia, and me a Midwestern to the bone, of Swedish/English/American heritage - we had many similar family, life and church experiences that took place at a very similar pace and timeframe. As we learned more about one another, we recognized ourselves and in each other - an almost, soul-mate recognition led us to tease friends - calling ourselves twins.

We decided to stay in touch, and specifically to be prayer partners for one another. For the next year or so we had semi-regular Tuesday night phone calls/check-in. (Uchenna was living in Chicago, IL and I was in Rochester, MN at the time.) We'd talk about our favorite TV shows, and we talk about our families, jobs, vocational questions, and those places in our lives where we needed support of a spiritual depth. Sometimes we would end a phone call praying for one another. Sometimes we would commit to saying the daily office at the same time later that evening. Every time we spoke our friendship grew deeper and our support of one another's faith and ministry was heard and upheld.

We managed to see each other periodically the first few years - me visiting Chicago, Uchenna visiting the twin cities and Rochester. In 2002-2003 Uchenna and I had the opportunity to work on a team together to plan the Young Adult Festival at General Convention 2003 - an event that would take place in Minneapolis, MN. Throughout the year we met with the rest of the team and shared many great meals, laughs and liturgies together. Our friendship was grounded in our connection to one another as children of God and as faithful members of the Episcopal Church.

Uchenna entered graduate school a year before I began seminary. We we both students, and as long distance friendships can go, there were long periods of time when we didn't talk with one another -- too many other commitments had long taken the place of our regular chats - though those were a great support to both of us at a time in our lives that we needed it. As our various relationships with other people ebbed and flowed, this friendship, even though relying on phone calls that were fewer and farther between continued to be strong. Uchenna is someone I will always be friends with, and always be glad to know.

I was proud to have her stand with priests, friends and family as a presenter at my ordination to the priesthood in January - and I was proud to be a participant in her wedding this last weekend. As the hours drew closer toward the ceremony that would celebrate her commitment to love honor and be loved and honored by the man she is creating a new family with, my joy at finally meeting her mother, and seeing her transition into this new station in life was overwhelming. Uchenna's friends and family, danced and sang, shouted and rejoiced in traditional American and Nigerian ways throughout the wedding weekend.

As I spoke with various friend groups of the bride and groom- those who had known them in high school, or college or grad school - I realized that I did not fall into any of these categories. Uchenna and I never lived in the same place - never shared a day to day common experience of being in class together, or working together. Our friendship was born out of the workings of the national offices of the Episcopal Church in New York City: the idea that Episcopalians from around the country should get to know each other, that we should learn each others stories, and live into our commonalities and differences. Because ultimately, what we share is a faith and a practice of that faith that connects us to one another.

Anglicans are connected through centuries of worship, conversation, and hope that we can do good in the world that we have been given to live in. Geography, culture, ethnicity, gender, economics, sexuality, time, interest... the barriers are easy to spot, to claim, to allow to divide us. But in seeing each other, and in being committed to friendship and a common cause, we can grow infinitely in our relationships with one another and with God.

I am so thankful to know Uchenna, and I am so thankful to be known by her. Thank you Episcopal Church - and the office for Young Adult Ministries for bringing Uchenna and I together in friendship in family and in the ministry of growing together in Christ and community. Amen.

5 Easter, Year C

Leviticus 19:1-2,9-18
Psalm 145 or 145:1-9
Revelation 19:1,4-9
John 13:31-35

On a day with a Gospel text like this – it should be easy to preach – the topic and the statement are so clear so simple so direct – love one another, as I have loved you.

What more can you say? Love each other. The end.

But of course, it’s never that simple, is it?

What kind of love is Jesus challenging the disciples to have for one another? How is that alike or different from other commandments that have been given to God’s people before this night? Such as, the 10 commandments given to Moses and the Israelites… and the Shema, or the greatest commandment, also given to the Jewish people and reiterated by Jesus that “you shall love the lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself.”

What is it that makes this commandment “new,” as it is described in today’s passage?

The commandment and our call to respond to it are just not that simple.

First one must address the use of the word love – a word that we use today over and over again – I love you, I love ice cream, he loves Clemson or she loves Carolina... (In case you were wondering, I love the Boston Red Sox) Our word for love in the English language gets a workout – and is used to describe a care or affection for all kinds of things. Perhaps it is used so much, and for such a variety of things that the complexity of the statement, love one another, in its English translation, is lost on us.

In the Greek language, the original language in which the Gospel according to John was written, there are four words that are used to describe different kinds of love. There is philios – which describes the kind of love between close friends or companions – you’ve heard of Philadelphia, “the city of brotherly love.” There is a word that describes the love of a parent for their child – storge. And another familiar sounding Greek word for love is eros – a love that is rooted in desire – sometimes referred to as romantic love – and perhaps also related to the way we say we love objects in our lives – such as a love of cars – love that comes out of desire.

Each of these kinds of love has a place in our lives – each of them is relational – embedded in a connection between individuals in community with one another. Love for a friend, love for a child, love for a partner and companion in life. Each is valid and we gain much from each of these types of love. But none of these Greek words is the word used by Jesus with his disciples in this passage.

The love that he showed his followers, and the love that he commanded they show to one another is defined in a completely new and different way. This is why this love commandment was new. This was agape love – a godly love, one that is unconditional without judgment or personal gain; a sacrificial love, enacted by Jesus in the ultimate sacrifice of his own life. This was Jesus’ final commandment given to his disciples – that they love one another as he had loved them – unconditionally.

This commandment to love one another as we are loved by God is passed down to us through the words of this Gospel, and hopefully through our experiences together in Christian community.

How do we love one another so that others might see Christ’s love for us, within us, within our community? How do we allow ourselves to love and be loved in such a way that we are truly changed, that we are truly transformed, that we are truly able to experience the resurrection of Christ in our lives and in the life of this community?

I believe that where we see resurrection, there we see Christ. Where we are participants in the need for transformation in the world, there we are reflecting the love that Christ taught us, commanded us to give to one another. Where we can be a people of resurrection and hope for others, there we can be the presence of Christ with and for one another – so that wherever two or three are gathered in Christ’s name, Christ is present.

The question, then, that I have in this Christian community, is do we have that agape love for one another here. If the answer is yes, then again you’ve made my job very easy, “love one another as Jesus commanded – and you do. Good Job. Amen.”

But of course, is just not that simple. What is unconditional love? What impact does that have on the way that we relate to one another, the way that we talk with one another, the way that we respond to the needs of those in this and in our surrounding community? I have seen glimpses of it here – I have seen reflections of that love lived out in this parish community and it is a powerful gift to all who give it and all who receive it.

The power of this love is what enables us to give freely of ourselves to one another, and to give with generosity to our neighbors in need. The power of this love is what calls us to be a place of hospitality striving to meet the needs of those who have little or nothing to their name in this world. To give the loving support that our friends need when they are mourning the loss of a spouse to death or divorce, the loss of a child to addiction or to tragedy, or facing struggles with mental illness, depression, and fear.

And it is this love that draws us close and to desire to celebrate with one another the joyful moments in life – as children are born and baptized, as those children transition into adolescence and adulthood, as relationships between two life partners mature and leads them to a mature commitment in marriage, and as the life cycle continues through another generation of children and grandchildren being born into this world, borne into our lives and community.

It is a love that is here, but it is not always an easy love to give, or to receive. The reason for this difficulty is the level of vulnerability that one must submit to in order to enact this love. Unlike the love of a parent or of a friend or of a spouse, this agape love is not dependant upon a reciprocal relationship – it is a love that is ultimately about sacrifice – because there is no guarantee that when you give love of this kind, of this magnitude, that it will be returned.

Though I believe God’s love is forever present, in the constancy of creation, in the relationships that we share with one another, there is no guarantee that we will love God back – we are free to respond to that love at our own will. By giving the gift of agape, unconditional love to his disciples, and to us, Jesus opened himself up to rejection, and betrayal, and still he loved his companions, his friends, to the end. We practice making ourselves vulnerable in the other expressions of love, but we do so in hopes of reciprocity, we hope to receive something in return – we hope to be loved back by our spouse, we hope that our children will care for us in our old age, we hope – and some of us demand – a winning season from the teams we are devoted to.

God’s self-giving love, through his Son, and Christ’s love for his companions as he walked with them, instructed them, and ate with them, that love was given, freely, without expectation of return – it was simply a gift given to God’s people, shown through the life and actions of the one who came to show us how to love one another.

And the Good News, the Great News, is that love is given in abundance, it is yours to receive and to carry with you. It is is the love that welcomes you home each time you turn to God and ask for forgiveness. It is yours whether you want it or not – because God is love – and when you have that love, know that love, can allow yourself to be loved fully and completely by God, then you too can give the gift of that love – the same love given to the disciples by Jesus – the same love given to us by Christ, and asked of us to give to one another. It is not easy, it is not simple, but it is ours to receive: our greatest gift and commandment from God.

And so, as we gather together at that table and share in the symbol of that love in the bread and the wine, let us be reminded of our call to love one another – not simply – but as Christ loved us, unconditionally, and without expectation of a return; for he gave of himself an offering and sacrifice to God. Amen.

Delivered by: The Rev. Mary Catherine Enockson

The Episcopal Church of Our Saviour, Rock Hill, SC, May 6, 2007